Author: Melissa Bianco

Melissa Bianco was born in Vancouver, B.C. Canada and graduated with an Arts and Sciences Diploma in Media Resources. She's worked as an Extras Casting Director, Talent Agent, and Production Assistant in the B.C. film and television industry. Melissa moved to California in 1999 and was attending college when the opportunity of a lifetime fell into her lap and she began her career in the video game industry on the unreleased project called City of Heroes. During her tenure, Melissa rose through the ranks to become Lead Designer and then transitioned into production where, eventually, she became the Lead Development Producer of the project until the sunset of City of Heroes in November 2012. She has also worked at Crystal Dynamics as a Producer on the Marvel's Avengers project, at TruPlay Games, and Marauder Tech. Melissa is known in the MMO community for two things: her City of Heroes "War Witch" persona and the Easter Eggs she liked to slip into the game. Melissa has published two novels Real Life (2008) and Everyday Heroes (2015). She likes to use her personal time and energy on projects to help spread the gospel, write, discover useless trivia, watch movies, eat amazing food, and play video games. She's currently jumped with both feet into the world of AI and now creates creative content in the form of music and t-shirts, mugs, etc. She just released Chance of a Lifetime, an album illustrating her time working on City of Heroes

Fat Secret

March 28, 2009March 28, 2009 ~ Melissa Bianco ~ 1 Comment

I know, it’s a horrid name isn’t it? *shudder*

I paid for the Weight Watchers online access, which was roughly $50/month. Pretty pricey, considering by the end I was just using the website to log my food and not attending the meetings except to get weighed in.

So, what to do when you have no cash, but want to record your meals and exercise online? Maybe get a few tips? Read a forum? Find a recipe?

Fat Secret

It’s a free website that you can register on and it keeps track of everything for you. Here’s the list:

Join Challenges (i.e. 30 lbs. in 30 days)
Join Groups (i.e. 30 – 40 years, 20+ lbs. to lose)
Record Recipes
Add tips
Journal
Food Diary / Exercise Diary
Weight Diary and tracker
Food Search functionality (adding food, too!)

The front page feels a little like Facebook with all of the “updates” to members’ journals, weigh ins, recipe additions etc. If you make your profile public, you can add “buddies” and they can read your journal and comment on it. The website layout is clean and (this scores massive points with me) Advertisement Free. I don’t know how long that will last because, quite frankly, I can’t imagine how they’re making any money, but can I just say I hope it stays that way.

It’s what Facebook used to be before all the flashy ads on the sidebar.

There are five “tabs” you can focus on:

Home – main page, as discussed
My Fat Secret – your personal space to record, journal, update, etc.
Diets – discusses which diets are most popular and how they rate in weight loss
Kitchen – for all your recipe searching needs, with reviews and stars
Community – groups, challenges, forums, journals, etc.

One of the most compelling features of this website is that when you first create your profile, it asks you what Diet you’re on (if any). You always have the option of entering your very own personal diet. I entered Weight Watchers because I’ve done it in the past. I’ve also set my Food Journal options to include Weight Watchers Points, so when I enter food – you guessed it – it automatically logs the Points for me.

If you’re trying to pay attention to a particular area, such as salt intake, fiber, etc., it can add (or subtract) any details you care about. How convenient is that?

The only quibble I have, so far, is the Buddy System. I’ve added a few friends, but it’s a little tricky trying to figure out if they’ve accepted, if they’re adding me, or when they make comments on my journal entries. Maybe I’m just a Luddite.

One feature it doesn’t have, but I would love to see, is an email alert (if you request it) when someone comments on your profile. This would be an exceptionally handy feature for those of us who don’t want to be rude and ignore people who take the time to comment on our public entries.

So there you have it. If you want an easy way to meet other people who are trying to lose weight, get fit, join a group, or just have a recipe to share, Fat Secret is an excellent option.

http://www.fatsecret.com

~Melissa

Disclaimer: And no, I didn’t make a dime off of pitching these guys. I just love the website and want to share it with everyone I know because it is that useful. So enjoy – or not. Up to you.

Love and Respect

March 23, 2009March 28, 2009 ~ Melissa Bianco ~ Leave a comment

If I combine the years of marriage from my first and second marriage, the number is roughly 16. And before that, I was dating from the time I was 15. So, let’s do the math and tack on another 7. Okay, so I’ve been in one “relationship” or another for approximately 23 years of my life. That’s over half, people.

Now for the sad part.

I never truly understood what it meant to be in a positive relationship. Truth be told, I was carrying around some pretty serious baggage. Let’s see if I can recount some of the previous ideas I had on dating / marriage:

If it feels good, do it
It’s fine as long as no people or animals get hurt
Only stay as long as it’s fun and easy
If the passion fades, it’s time to move on
If he truly knew or loved me, he’d know what I’m thinking
If I don’t show how much he’s hurt me, I win (Ice Queen Syndrome)
Never lose your cool (Ice Queen Syndrome, Part II)
Win the argument even if wrong, don’t accept responsibility for mistakes
My position is the one that matters
If he’s willing to be intimate with me that means he cares about me
If I can’t talk to him then I shouldn’t be with him
It’s not my fault I can’t say what’s bothering me, it’s from my past
My past is why I can’t …
My past is why I don’t …
My past is why he should …
Men will let me down
Men can’t be trusted
I will just keep this inside so his feelings don’t get hurt
My relationship should work, even if I don’t put any real energy into it
Love fades
If I’m not “in love” with him, I shouldn’t be with him
Love is an emotion not a verb
Can’t he see what I’ve done for him?
If a guy likes that kind of person, I’ll be that kind of person (even though it’s not who I am) because I want him to like me

Admittedly, none of these philosophies has ever served me very well and I’ll tell you why. My entire focal point was one of two things:

Everything is about me (or)
Everything is about him.

You can’t have a decent relationship with someone when they’re choking the life out of you, or you’re choking the life out of them. There’s no room for growth and there’s definitely no room for effective communication.

Ah, that dreaded word: communication.

It really is something you have to work at and, I’ll be brutally honest here, I hate that. I have always believed that if you’re meant to be with someone then communication should be easy. Well, it’s not. Really and truly it isn’t. And there is a reason for it.

Here’s the reason:

Men and women think, feel, and see the world very differently!

The Love and Respect Class I took at my church, combined with attending church on a regular basis, has really helped me pinpoint all the ridiculous notions I had about life, love and relationships and to learn some incredibly valuable (yet obvious!!!) lessons on making a marriage work. Actually, this information isn’t just helpful for a spouse, it’s helpful for a male cousin, nephew, uncle, grandfather, etc. Men need certain things from women when it comes to communication so this is helpful all over the place.

Before you sniff your nose up at the whole “church” and “God” aspect of things, hear me out. There is a DVD set out there that you can watch in the privacy of your own home that will teach you about how to talk to your spouse, how to understand why your spouse does what he/she does, and how you can better communicate with them. AND…it’ll give you the very real realization that your marriage isn’t doomed or lame when everyone else’s is great. We all struggle with our mates, we were built to have conflict. It is what it is. But conflict is an opportunity to grow and to grow closer (believe it or not).

So, take a look at the video below for a real quick introduction to Dr. Eggerichs.

By the way, I didn’t even go looking for this class, this website, or this video. My husband discovered it. Women are usually the communicators, the talkers, the fixers and I managed to drop even that ball. This series utterly changed the way I look at relationships and showed me just how far I had fallen as a mate because my ideals and expectations were completely unattainable and unrealistic.

If you want to see more, go to the Love and Respect website. In particular, check out the Media section because that’s where Dr. Emmerson Eggerichs is videotaped live at his conference. He doesn’t preach at you, he tells stories about his own life, he makes you laugh, and – above all – he makes you go, “Ohhhh! I get it!”

If I could buy a copy of the DVD series for every single married friend (male or female) that I have and send it to them, I would. I don’t normally jump up and down and scream, “You have to see this!”. Hey, I don’t even like chain emails, but this is one series, I strongly recommend. Did I mention strongly?

Definitely, check it out.

http://www.loveandrespect.com

~Melissa

Disclaimer: The commentary above is free insight into my strange and humbling past relationship-world. I don’t get a single red cent for the purchase of Love and Respect DVDs, the classes, or the conferences. It just so happens that I am so passionate about this information that I’m willing to talk about it with unashamed excitement so that everyone who reads will learn some very valuable lessons, just like I have.

Be Zazzled!

March 22, 2009 ~ Melissa Bianco ~ Leave a comment

I sure have been.

I have been playing around with Zazzle and doing something I’ve been telling myself I should be doing for years. (How’s THAT for a confusing sentence?)

Writing greeting cards!

I love quippy cards with a bit of humour, I love writing chick lit, I’m a Jesus Freak, and I love stationery so what better way to showcase my crazy impulses for all of the above but creating my own cards?

So there you have it. Me in a nutshell on Zazzle.

Here’s my gallery:

http://www.zazzle.com/miskela

~Melissa

Beautiful Advice

March 19, 2009March 19, 2009 ~ Melissa Bianco ~ Leave a comment

I received this as an email chain. I often like these kinds of messages, just not the “chain” aspect to them so I’ve edited.

~Melissa

An Angel says:

“Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn’t happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.”

A great list of things to try and do every day:

Pray
Go to bed on time.
Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
Say “No” to projects that won’t fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.
Delegate tasks to capable others.
Simplify and unclutter your life.
Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don’t lump the hard things all together.
Take one day at a time.
Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety. If you can’t do anything about a situation, forget it.
Live within your budget. Don’t use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
Have backups: an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut) This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
Do something for the “Kid in You” everyday.
Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.
Get enough rest.
Eat right.
Get organized so everything has its place.
Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
Write down thoughts and inspirations.
Every day, find time to be alone.
Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don’t wait until it’s time to go to bed to try and pray.
Make friends with Godly people.
Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.
Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good, “Thank you, Jesus .”
Laugh.
Laugh some more!
Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
Sit on your ego.
Talk less; listen more.
Slow down.
Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
Every night before bed, think of one thing you’re grateful for that you’ve never been grateful for before. God has a way of turning things around for you.

“If God is for us, who can be against us?”
(Romans 8:31)

The Herb Garden

March 17, 2009March 17, 2009 ~ Melissa Bianco ~ 3 Comments

So I’m in the middle of planting an herb garden. We have two great planters and we didn’t do a full-attempt last year so I decided it was time. Last time we planted, we did tomatoes, more tomatoes, peas, and the freaking hottest habanero peppers that ever dug roots. Oh and zucchini that totally took over the garden (something about not picking them when you’re supposed to). So we sort of got tired of the gardening thing, but I got some wild hair and decided I wanted one again this year.

I picked up a electric soil tiller and a bunch of baby herbs and tons of seeds. (See below for the list.) I had the herb seedlings sitting on my window sill, but my cat took an inordinate liking to them, even chewing on some of them, so we had to move them out to the cottage. (Notice in one of the pictures, he’s got his eye on the garden.)

Here’s the planters when we started (March 13, 2009):

After two days of tilling, planting, forcing the boys to help, and whatnot.

This is the after (March 14, 2009):

So far we have:

8-Ball Squash (or something crazy like that)
Basil
Sweet Basil
Aromatic Basil
Pesto Basil (who knew there were so many types?)
Carrots (some weird round ball-looking baby variety)
Chives
Cilantro
Dill
Marjoram
Greek Oregano
Italian Oregano
Onions (Green)
Parsley
Rosemary
Sage
Sugar Snap Peas (ok not herbs, but we wanted some veggies, too)
Tarragon
Thyme

We’ll see if they survive my black thumb!

I’ll update the pics in a week or two so you get a nice timeline of growth (or death, whichever).

~Melissa

Indecisive?

March 8, 2009March 9, 2009 ~ Melissa Bianco ~ Leave a comment

When you’re just not quite sure what you need to make that decision, well, here’s a little inspiration in the form of my cat.

Recipe: Lactose-Free Cheesecake

March 8, 2009July 21, 2013 ~ Melissa Bianco ~ Leave a comment

As someone who would marry cheesecake if she could but married her lactose intolerant husband instead, this cheesecake is a winner. If you think it can’t possibly compare to “real” cheesecake, I challenge you to make it.

The way I got around my oh-so picky husband was not telling him what I used. I just said it was “lactose free” sour cream and cream cheese. Once I got the resounding two thumbs up, then I told him what it was made with.

Recipe

1 Graham Cracker crust
12 oz. Better Than Cream Cheese (cream cheese substitute)
2 eggs, beaten
3/4 cup sugar
2 teaspoons Vanilla
1/2 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
1 cup Sour Supreme (sour cream substitute)
3 1/2 tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon Vanilla

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Combine first five ingredients and beat well until light and frothy.
Pour into Graham Cracker crust.
Bake for 26 minutes.
Remove and cool for 10 minutes.
Mix last three ingredients (sour cream, sugar, vanilla) and pour on top.
Bake 10 – 15 minutes.
Refrigerate 5 hours.
Beat husband off with stick until cheesecake actually cools completely.

Answer to the question you must be asking…

The stuff they use to create the sour cream and cream cheese substitutes is actually tofu. Oh yes, you heard me. I’m not a tofu political activist by any stretch of the imagination. I’ll eat it if it’s in front of me, but I don’t go out of my way to seek it out.

I am not kidding when I tell you, it’s very hard to tell the difference.

Proof? Three step-children and picky snobby snooty husband ate it like it was their last meal on earth. And I’m done.

I got the original recipe from, I think, Diet for a Small Planet by Frances Moore Lappe, but the substitute stuff was pure Rachel Gunn information.

~Melissa

10 Things That Cheer Me Up, No Matter How Crummy I Feel

January 13, 2009 ~ Melissa Bianco ~ Leave a comment

In no particular order:

Freshly laundered sheets.
The purr of a happy cat.
Baby smell (after a bath and before the vomiting or pooping).
A really good prat fall.
Having my hair brushed.
Bright stars in a clear night sky.
The smell of camping (trees, not fire pits)
Ice cream.
Celtic pan pipes.
Curling up to a good book.

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