Top 12 Reasons I Should Be Banned from Wrapping Presents

If you could “fail” a skill, this is my skill to fail.  And here’s why:

  1. I use tape like it’s law enforcement
  2. Giving it “the college try” is an insult because preschoolers can do better
  3. Angry tape
  4. There WILL be blood shed
  5. I don’t overestimate paper sizing, I GROSSLY overestimate paper sizing (as in, you could fit a small village in the leftover paper)
  6. Presents aren’t “wrapped” so much as they are “inflicted”
  7. Even my cat knows it’s probably best to stay away during “the dark time”
  8. Square objects present more problems than round ones because at least you can carpetbag a round one
  9. Who tapes their own fingers together?
  10. My presents look like I wrapped them for someone who cut me off in traffic
  11. Leaving wrapping to the last minute – despite years of trying – does not make me better at it
  12. I look for reasons to distract myself elsewhere when I should be wrapping – like writing blog posts