Being a Christian. It’s Not About…

…eggs, chocolate, or bunny rabbits. Resurrection Sunday is about Jesus Christ rising from the dead on the third day and defeating death to pay for OUR sins – past, present, and future.

…Santa Claus, expensive presents, stress shopping, or getting time off work. It’s about celebrating the birth of Christ because without His birth, there would be no prophecies fulfilled, no sacrifice for our sins (even the ones no one else knows about), and no hope for eternity in Heaven.

…many ways to God. There is only one way to God and that is Jesus. Yes, it’s narrow – He said it himself. Jesus is the only son of God, the only perfect sacrifice for our sins and the only willing person to do it for us, even when we didn’t deserve it or want it. “No one comes to the Father except through me.”

…intolerance. It’s about trusting in God’s word to tell us what is good and right in His eyes through the Bible. We love everyone and respect their point of view, but we still look to God for the final word. On everything. Even if it’s hard. Or not popular.

…rules. It’s about understanding God’s Moral Laws that tell us right from wrong. We look to His counsel first before we consider any other. We know that every breath we take is because He gives it to us and our families, our lives, our comforts – all come from Him.

…going through the motions. Showing up at church on Sunday, “sleeping” through service, and forgetting about God for the rest of the week is a watered down spiritual disservice to ourselves. If God is alive in us, He is with us every minute of every day. Conversations with God are just as easy in a car or in line at the grocery store as they are at church.

…making God pay for the idiot actions of someone who acted ungodly. It’s not about taking revenge on God because someone who “claimed” to be a Christian was cruel, or misrepresented Him, or pursued an agenda under His name.

…making God pay for the actions of a bad church. Church is where two or more true believers are gathered, it’s not a building. It’s a coming together of the faithful. Hypocrites and liars can just as easily sit on a church pew as they can on a bus.

…hate. A true Christian does not hate, he loves. Despite adversity. Despite mockery. Despite circumstance and politics. He may not agree, but he does not hate. Do not misinterpret a view that is not the same as yours as “hate.”

…peace, love, and joy. There is no magic pill that you take once you become a Christian that makes your life “easy.” It’s the opposite, because you now understand that your beliefs no longer match the “feel good doctrine” of this world and, as Jesus said, you WILL have troubles. It’s not about bailing on Jesus the moment your life gets complicated and you wonder why He doesn’t just fix it for you. It’s about endurance. And faith. And being gut-wrenchingly honest that the majority of those troubles, you actively helped yourself get into.

…being perfect. It’s about Grace. God’s grace. It’s about owning up to sins (from “white lies” to stealing to not honoring your parents – and no one on this planet has not done this), understanding that we have not sinned against each other, but against God himself, the creator of the universe and before Him, we are truly guilty. It’s about understanding that by breaking just one of His laws, we have sinned, and over our lifetimes that’s not just once, it’s thousands of times. It’s about holding on to the fact that despite our sins, Jesus died for us so that we could be right with God.

…them killing Jesus. Jesus was a willing participant every step of the way. He knew His role and he took it upon Himself to die for me and for you.

…doing more good than bad and hoping to get to Heaven. Trying to “do good things” so you can “even out the scales” is like trying to bribe a judge. If you did wrong, all the nice things you did in your life do not eclipse the fact that you have broken the law. You still have to pay for your crime. If you were able to bribe God, He wouldn’t be God.

…actions and rituals. Going to church, being christened, wearing a cross, or owning a Bible does not make you a Christian any more than throwing on a lab coat makes you a doctor. God knows what is truly in your heart. He knows if you feel the full weight of the wrong things you’ve done and if you’ve realized that you are helpless under his judgment. He knows if you have truly understood and accepted the weighty sacrifice that Jesus made for you on the cross. The people of the world may be fooled by your rituals and good deeds, but God is not.

…fluffy clouds and angel wings. It’s about an eternity with the creator of the universe, the goodness and power of God, and being with Him every day forever. And ever.

…fantasies and wishes. It’s about real events that have been documented in a book that has outsold any other book in history. It is about the Old Testament driving inexorably towards the New, quietly revealing Jesus in every page. It is a book that will elude many who read its words because their hearts are hard and they refuse to believe. It is a book that is a comfort to millions because they believe and understand and see its incredible value. It is THE source of information on the character of God and man and His love for us.

…a tragedy. It is about a wondrous and everlasting hope that every single person can have in God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

…mountains of data before a decision. Not deciding to live for Christ is denying Him. “Not now” is an answer – it’s “no.” It’s not about fighting over the minutiae – it’s about trust and belief. Faith. But not blind faith. Anyone can pick apart something if they truly are in a mind to do it. The leap of faith first, THEN comes the reward. Not the other way around.

…doing cruel things in defense of God. It’s about persevering and being patient in His name. It’s about letting Him be the judge, not us. It’s about prayer and love, in spite of how ugly other people can be “in the name of religion.” I submit to you that many of the things done in the name of religion were done by zealots, not Christians.

…us being God. We’re not. We will never be God. We are created in His image, but we are not Him. We can’t speak for Him. We can’t pretend to know what His intentions are. We can’t fit Him to be what WE want. He is God. We can accept Him or reject Him. We can love Him or hate Him. We can even pretend that He does not exist. But we will never BE him.

…running the endless treadmill trying to please God. We can’t. There is nothing we can give Him that he does not already have. He can’t be bought or bribed. He can’t ignore sins and he can’t go against His own good nature. What we can do, is gratefully accept the sacrifice He has provided for us so that we can be right with Him.

…long and drawn-out prayers which say more about our need to be the center of attention. God knows what we need. He knows our pain and our struggles. He doesn’t care about Shakespearean orations, He just wants our honesty. Our gut honesty. We can’t hide from Him. We should run to Him when life gets hard, not run to a bottle, a warm body, a handful of pills, or a new “toy.” Sin is pleasurable for a seaon, and then it takes it’s pound of flesh. Again. And again. And again.

…getting it right before going to God. It’s about coming to Him right now. Right as you are. Broken. Weak. Tired. Frustrated. Hopeless. If we waited until we had our lives together, we’d never seek Him in the first place.

…politics and culture. Culture and politics reflect the tone of the day, and that is rarely in agreement with God’s will because no matter how well meaning, these are human agendas and, thus, selfish by nature. We value money, fame, status, and keeping up with the Jones’ over sacrifice, humility, grace, and giving. We value the stars of television and sports over the word of God. We look to Oprah before we look to the words of Jesus.

…the path of least resistance. We are sinners and our primary objective will be to do what we want, sometimes at the cost of others, sometimes at the cost of much more. We can justify and play the victim, and try to explain away our actions as “not as bad” as that other guy, but when we stand in front of God, all those short cuts and slights we did along the way, there will be no one else to be compared to. It will be just us and just Him and his standard is high.

…saying we’re sorry to God. Everyone is sorry…when they get caught. We cannot stand in front of God on the Day of Judgment and apologize for the bad things we did when we were alive and hope we’ll skate by. By then, it’ll be too late. We had our chance. This is the age of communication. This is the age of information. Few have not heard about Jesus and His sacrifice. True ignorance is no longer an excuse for those of us in the western world. We let pride get in the way. We put God into a box that we find more “palatable” – one that doesn’t have us end up in Hell.

…judging others. We who are Christians know better than anyone how sinful we are. We understand that, in God’s eyes, sins carry equal weight from murder to adultery to lying (and 20 years ago sins are the same to God as sins we did that morning – lest anyone use that “I was a kid” excuse). We know how many times we have let Him down ourselves, so we – more than anyone – know that we are in no place to judge. Sharing, in love, what God says is not judgment if the person isn’t being a jerk about it. But conviction is uncomfortable, so if you feel convicted, that’s God speaking directly to your heart. Now is the time to start paying attention. God’s word and moral laws are for our instruction and information and should be shared with love. Not condemnation. We do not judge. God does. And, whether we like it or not, He will be the judge.

…cramming our beliefs down your throat. It’s about The Great Commission. This is what Jesus has asked believers to do – spread the word of His love and sacrifice to those living in a dark world. In love, we want every friend, family member, co-worker, and acquaintance to be standing in front of God and seeing his or her name in the Book of Life with us. We want to be able to stand in front of God and say, “This life you gave me, I passed on your message as best as I could. Some listened and some didn’t. But I passed it on.”

…being perfect. We want to be better people. We want to be growing in Christ every day, using His example as a beautiful example to live by, and that is hard. We don’t do it because we’re trying to “please” God or because we’re trying to be better than anyone else. We sincerely want to live a life that is a testament to the gift He has given us. We want to be a light to those who are still floundering in darkness.

…outdated ideas. It’s about timeless wisdom and a moral conscience that guides us daily. Jesus took many of the “internal” commandments (the ones others don’t see – but God does) and upped the ante. He said that even looking at woman with lust was committing adultery of the heart. Or hating our brother was committing murder in our heart. It’s not just about what we DO. It’s about what’s inside us. What we feel and think and plot, even while we smile and go about our business. It’s a good thing to honor your parents (not JUST obey them), it’s a good thing to not lie or cheat or steal. It’s a good thing to be faithful and to love God more than any other thing in your life. And when we do these things we’re not supposed to do, we feel bad. This is a God-given conscience that tells us we have sinned. Ever been lied to? How’s it feel? Ever been cheated? How does that feel? The backbone of our entire legal system is founded on these principles because they are good and solid principles.

…looking or acting a certain way. God created us as individuals in all shapes, sizes, and histories. We Christians are pearl-wearing, dress and gloves types, but we’re also tattooed, long-haired granola-munching Jesus freaks who play drums and guitar and love God with every fiber of our being. We do not fit into a stereotype found in Hollywood because we are individuals. But we are all united in our love for Jesus and our absolute trust in His sacrifice. Not just belief – believing doesn’t get us to Heaven, even Satan believes in Jesus.

…watering down the message so people will be more “comfortable.” As easy as it would be to say that God is all about peace, love, joy and nothing else so that seekers would come to church in droves, there are many aspects to God and some of them we may never understand this side of Heaven. Many will be turned off by the “harshness” they see that God is being. Many will see the truth of it and understand. But to only provide a cure (salvation), without showing people they have a disease (sin), the gift would be meaningless. If people don’t think they need a savior, why toss one at them? It’s only when we understand that we are ALL sinners, doomed to eternity apart from God, that we see the true value and love behind Jesus’ sacrifice.

…arguing. We believe and we trust in Jesus. We trust and believe that the Bible is true and accuruate. We believe and trust that Jonah was swallowed by a whale, that Noah built an ark, that Adam and Eve sinned in the garden of Eden and we have been living with sin ever since. We believe that Jesus was born, lived a sinless life, and willingly went to the cross to die for our sins. We believe that there are other viewpoints in the world and other religions and we admit that others will believe what they want. But we believe that Jesus is the only true way to God. There is no other way.

…worshipping the creation. It’s about worshipping the Creator. We loves us some trees and the universe and the stars and the heavens. But we do not worship them. They are not God. They have no power. God, the creator of these things is the one we worship. We do not “thank the Universe” because it can’t do anything. Only God has the power and authority to fix our lives and only God is worthy of our worship.

…looking strong. It’s about admitting weakness. Admitting failure. Admitting fear and hopelessness when things are falling apart. God is not a crutch. He is not a “last resort.” He is the first place we should turn when our lives spin out of control. There is no weakness in admitting defeat or failure. The weakness comes from pride and arrogance thinking that we know better than God and that we can fix things on our own. Because that’s worked so well for us in the past.

…Jesus being a good teacher and example of how to live our lives. Jesus SAID that he is God. He spoke of Hell. He spoke of ignorance and wickedness. He spoke of the last days. He spoke of how the world would despise those who trust in Him and who would die in His name. He is so much more than just the Sermon on the Mount.

…tomorrow. It’s about today. We are appointed to live once, die and then face judgment. There are no second chances, third times the charms, or multiple do-overs once we die. And we do not know when that is. This side of heaven is where our eternity is decided. We can ignore the truth, will it away, explain it away, and just pretend it is not so – but we WILL all die. After that, it is too late for a decision. If we tell God, “no thank you” in life, on Judgment Day, He will take us at our word. God does not send anyone to Hell. They choose it.

…scare tactics. It’s about the Good News. God showed us our disease and He provided a cure. All we have to do it take it. It’s free. It’s easy. It’s amazing. But it’s a choice. This is what Free Will is about. Free Will to choose God and Heaven and eternity or free will to decide they’re lies or garbage or fairy stories. We can choose to ignore the opportunity for a spirit-filled life, and daily assurance that we are God’s children and WILL go to be with Him in Heaven when we die.

We spend more time researching our next car than we do truly and honestly looking into a decision that will affect not just the next 20 years of our lives, but eternity. There is no measure to how long that is when you consider that our time on earth is like a drop in the bucket. With eyes, ears, and hearts wide open, look at the easiest decision in the world to make and make it. This is GOOD NEWS. And it doesn’t cost a dime. And it’s open and available to everyone and you don’t have to lift a finger to earn it.

The Ultimate Dad

It’s Father’s Day, so I felt like writing.

Imagine that you had the best father in the world.  From as long as you can remember, your father watched over you, protected you, loved you every minute of every day,  and taught you all the ways to be a kind, generous, and loving person.  Your father also gave you ground rules.  Now, he gave you these rules not because he wanted to take the fun out of your life, but to keep you safe and spare you pain.  He warned you not to go out of the yard (and watched you close, just in case), he showed you that even when your brother or sister made you angry, it was better to respond with forgiveness than revenge (even though you beat them up anyway).

Your father gave you every bit of knowledge that you needed to live a good life, not necessarily an easy one, but one with commitment, honor, integrity, and love.  Now, you’re a kid, so you know that kids don’t always listen to their dads.  You think dads are old and boring and they never let you do what you want to do.  Sometimes, you listen to your dad and sometimes you do your own thing, even when you know you shouldn’t.  Sometimes you get lucky (like when you don’t break your neck riding your bicycle straight down a staircase) and sometimes you don’t (like when you throw rocks at cars, one breaks a windshield, and you get caught in the act).

Does Dad stop loving you?  No.  He gets upset that you’ve made a  bad choice and is sad that your bad choice have hurt someone, but you know deep in your heart that he still loves you.  His love is like a safety net and, no matter what, your dad is the best dad in the world.  Some of his rules stink (like not staying out past dark or not letting you eat ice cream for breakfast, lunch, and dinner five days in a row) and some make sense, like forks in the light socket thing.  You know this, because you tried it, and when you got shocked, it scared you and it hurt really really bad.  You wish you’d listened to your dad, but some mistakes you need to make on your own.  Hearing it from your parent just isn’t the same.

And then you got older.

Now you think you know better than Dad.  Dad’s really starting to annoy you because his rules go directly against what you want to do.  He says be nice to your little brother, and you hate your brother and want to hit him whenever you see him because he’s such a pain and Dad doesn’t see half of the things your punk brother does, so it just makes sense you’d make him pay to keep things even.  (Even though Dad doesn’t catch half the things you do either.)  You think that your dad’s ways are old-fashioned and stupid and no one thinks like that anymore.  Why should you do what Dad says when no one else around you does?  Dad’s way sucks.

You listen to your dad less and your friends more because what they’re saying makes sense and, if you’re honest with yourself, their way feels better because it’s fun.  You try to hide things from Dad because you don’t want to deal with the fallout (and the grounding), so you tell him what you think he wants to hear and you do whatever you want anyway.  Every once in a while, Dad nails you – right between the eyes  – and you’re grounded with extra chores, and no TV.  You rail against Dad and his stupid rules and you tell him to get out of your life and leave you alone.

Now you think you know everything there is to know.  You’ve been around, you’ve lived a little.  Oh, you are a smart one now.  Dad’s rules and authority are a distant memory, you’ve even told him so right to his face, and to anyone else who’d listen.  You don’t respect him because he doesn’t “get it” and, frankly, he’s a buzz kill.  In fact, the more he tries to tell you what to do, the more you want to do the opposite, just to make him mad (let’s be honest, because it’s probably fun).  Now you are fighting with Dad all the time.  Dad tells you to be home at eleven, you stay out until two.  Dad tells you that it’s dishonest to cheat on a test, you cheat because you don’t want to do the work, you just want the A.  Dad tells you that it’s mean to disrespect your friends by talking behind their back, but swapping the dirt is fun.  Totally harmless.

You’ve moved out and moved on.

You’ve gotten to a point where Dad’s opinion is the least important opinion in your life.  Things have gotten so bad that when you do see your dad, you tell him how useless he is, and how you want nothing to do with him.  In fact, just thinking about him and his rules makes you angry for no reason at all.  Not only do you not respect him at all, but you don’t even really like him that much.  You don’t call on Father’s Day and you rarely follow anything he’s taught you over the years anymore.  About the only time you do call is when you need money or help moving again, because your landlord was a jerk and evicted you just because you were a little late on rent (a few times).  Dad shows up, helps you out without asking questions,  and you’re off again.  There’s no real conversation because you know he’s disappointed in you and you don’t want to deal with the shame so you take off and resume avoiding him.

And then your choices catch up with you.

One night, you’re out drinking with your buddies, having a good time when things go from “great time” to “in a bad way” really quick.  A big crowd is outside the bar and you are joking around as you wander back to your cars when a fight breaks out.   Maybe your mouth got away from you (again) and you said and did a few things that you shouldn’t have.   Someone pulls a gun on you and before you have time to raise your hand and say, “What?  I didn’t do anything,” it goes off.

From out of nowhere, there’s Dad.  The dad you never listened to, the dad you never respected, the dad you hated for all his rules, the dad you told to stay out of your life.  Dad leaps in front of the gun, takes the bullet, and drops to the ground bleeding.  That bullet meant for you because of what you did.  Those great friends of yours scatter because no one wants to be around for this.  They know this will only end badly and they don’t want to be around when the cops show up.

You drop to your knees and hold Dad in your lap sobbing, blood trickles from his mouth and he’s gasping for air, and you beg him to hold on.  Tears stream unashamedly down your face, stinging your eyes and blurring your vision as you look down at him.  He looks you straight in the eye and though he has every right to say, “This is your fault,” he smiles through the pain and whispers, “I love you.  I’d do it again.”

He closes his eyes and dies.

All those horrible things you did, the way you treated him, the way you threw away his advice and his love despite that it was given with love and wisdom – they all come back to you.  You can’t imagine why he would take a bullet for you, especially after you treated him so badly, yet he did.

And then, the epiphany.

A moment comes in your life when you think, “Maybe my way wasn’t the best idea.  Maybe Dad had it right after all.  I mean, look at me, I’m miserable, I’m lost, and I have never felt so alone.”  So you drive back to Dad’s old house, which has been yours since he passed away, but you’ve never had the heart to visit.  You head up to the attic where Dad kept all the mementos from your life, even the ones you could have sworn you threw away.  You begin to sift through the boxes, and the memories come flooding back as you read the cards, the letters, smile at the trophies and groan at the report cards.  You even find the photo albums and the scrapbooks detailing all of your major and minor achievements, even some of the failures and you see that Dad was so incredibly proud of you.  He wrote in the scrapbook margins next to school projects or sports articles, “my warrior”, “my child”, “my genius”, “my joy”, “the future,” and you can almost imagine the dreams that Dad had for you.

And it hits you .  You understand.  As you read, you see the wisdom, the love, the sacrifice, and you get it.  You GET IT.

You realize that getting your way isn’t always the best idea; in fact, sometimes it’s a really bad one.  You realize that surrounding yourself with people who are only your friend until it’s inconvenient isn’t worth it.  You learn that pain has direction and Dad’s rules were an attempt to spare you from it most of the time.  You realize all of these things and, most of all, you realize that if you’d listened to your dad you wouldn’t have been out drinking to forget how badly that relationship with that person you barely knew went so wrong, and you probably wouldn’t have shot your mouth off to someone unwilling to put up with your crap.

You realize that you deserved that bullet.  Your dad didn’t, but he took it for you anyway, even after all the awful things you’d said and done.  You remember his words, “I love you.  I’d do it again,” and a light goes off in your head.  You fully understand what unconditional love is.

Your dad wanted the best life had to offer for you and you, in your selfish way, frittered it away.  All of the dreams he had for you of achieving something of worth with your time and energy was wasted in bars or in front of the television.  All of the ways he taught you to show kindness so that others could feel the same kind of love were wasted because you never showed it.  You taught a different kind of lessons;  you cut off people in traffic if they cut you off first, you assumed the worst intentions of others because it was what you’d do, and you’d never give unless there was something in it for you.

Right there, sitting in that dusty attic, you make the decision to start fresh.  Your way may have seemed good on the surface, but it wasn’t working, not really.   You decide to give Dad’s way a try and you take that first step in faith, like when you were a kid learning to ride a bike and you believed Dad when he said he’d catch you if the bike tipped (and it did and he did).  You listen for Dad’s voice and you hear it, and your heart is full, and you remember that you have the best Dad in the world.  Dad never said that life would be easy, in fact, Dad said that it would be a lot harder to live his way than your way, but he also said it would be worth it and that one day you would understand.

Dad was right.  So you took another step, listening for his voice to help guide you and there it was telling you when you were on the right path, or the wrong one.  Now, you try to live each day with the kind of love and compassion that Dad had, and some days you succeed and some days you fail, but you always pick yourself up and move on because you know that Dad never expected you to be perfect.  And he loved you, no matter what.  You learn not to expect it from others either and you now give the grace that you received from him (even when you were a pill).

Your heart doesn’t clench in shame when you hear your dad’s voice in your head because you know that you have the best dad in the world.  He’s your conscience and your cheering squad, your example and your guide, your rock and your lifeboat.  He is the one that loved you when you were unlovable and he took a bullet meant for you even when you hated him.  You remind yourself of his words when the pain of life is too much.

“I love you.  I’d do it again.”

Each night before you go to sleep, you note the way that your life has changed, you thank your dad for showing you the way, and you thank him for taking that bullet and giving you a second chance.  You wish that every friend, relative, co-worker, or stranger on the street had your dad.  Because your dad is best father in the world.

Melissa Bianco

I’m a Walker!

February 21, 2010

Oh yes, I said it.  I’m walking in the Susan G. Komen 3-Day for a Cure event in San Francisco on October 1 – 3, 2010.
60 miles in 3 days!!!!

I’m totally insane, but this is worth the work.  I was looking for a cause and I kept seeing the commercials as I was walking each morning on the treadmill at the gym.
And it just clicked.  So I attended the Getting Started meeting, signed up, and now I’m registered.

This is my chance to do my part in the fight to cure breast cancer!!

How exciting, scary, fun, intimidating, exhilarating, and (insert adjective)!

If you’d like to support me, click below to donate:

Help me reach my goal for the Susan G. Komen San Francisco Bay Area 3-Day for the Cure!

The Foot Wants What the Foot Wants

This was just sent to me , so I’m passing it on.  This little “exercise” comes (apparently) from an orthopedic surgeon.    The claim was that it would “boggle my mind” and it will keep me trying over and over to see if I can outsmart my foot, but apparently I can’t.  It’s pre-programmed in my brain.

So with a hefty dose of skepticism and making sure no one was watching (apparently this only takes 2 seconds to try), I gave it a whirl.  And, dagnammit, if it ain’t so!  Okay, so now it’s your turn.

How Smart Is Your Right Foot?

  1. Without anyone watching you (they will think that you are goofy), and while sitting at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off of the floor and make clockwise circles.
  2. Now, while doing this (don’t stop), draw the number “6” in the air with your right hand.

Your foot will change direction.

Well?  Did it happen to you, too?

Strange Advance – Triple Threat

One of the best new wave bands to come out of Canada in the 1980s.  These videos (one is simply a slideshow) definitely bring me back and those boys sure knew how to do an instrumental opening.  Enjoy the great music that has held up over the years and cringe equally at the videos that did not.

Worlds Away

We Run

Love Becomes Electric

(Poor quality, unfortunately.)